Got Shaun White Pants?

Did anyone see the pants Shaun White wore when he scored the perfect 100 on the half-pipe at the 2012 X Games?  It was quite a divergence from the usual snowboarder uniform that is more of a Sponge Bob Square Pants look.  What ever happened to the old, baggy, asexual snowboarder look?  Has the old Flying Tomato morphed into a Hot Tomato in his tight, black and white jungle print pants?  Are these pants for a snowboarder or an aerobic yoga babe at the health club?  Did the inspiration come form the housewives of Pitkin county?  Would those tight jungle animal print pants look better with 5 inch stilettos than snowboarder boots?  What's going on?  Is it mere fashion or superior aerodynamics?

As you can tell, it took me a almost a month to decide to write this post.  I was surprised to learn that Shaun picked out the material for the black and white jungle print pants.  I was equally surprised to learn that Shaun also redesigned his jacket by adding denim to the front.  This humble blogger does not want snowboarders turning into metro-sexual fashionistas.  Come on guys.  Man up!  I don't want to see you guys going shopping together after the games.  I don't want to find out you paint your nails with sparkle polish and get botox injections.  I don't want to learn that any snowboarder wears more makeup than Mick Jagger at a Stones concert.  How about adding some duct tape to your look?  A jacket that looks like an XXL gas station attendant wore it?  Remember the olden days?

I phoned my first generation snowboarder / skater contact who told me that skaters, i.e., skateboarders are wearing tight pants.  Really tight!  Is the whole world going to hell in a handbasket?  Will next season's new half pipe trick be the Double McQuiche 1260?  Is there no turning back?  Will there be a line of snowboarder clothes designed by Shaun?  Does this already exist, but folks in the Southwest Desert just don't know about it?  Hey Shaun, how about calling your clothes line (pun?) "White Clothes"?  And here's some hot cloth for your next pair of pants: 

This will show up better against the pipe, assuming no yellow snow...

Maybe the Olympic team would look good in this cloth.  It is actually two pieces -- jungle and dots.  Would the dots make a good jacket?  Headband? Hoodie? Gloves? Or would they both be pants in (on?) the White Clothes Line?
 
Anyway, congrat's on the perfect 100, let that ankle heal (it always takes too long), and if you ever need more fashion feedback, just call me,
Southwest Desert Blogger

P.S. The only back to back double cork I do is if I've got 2 bottles of wine that have to breathe.
Southwest Desert Blogger
                                                                                              C. (c.)2012